Useless Italian Phrases

Useless Italian Phrases is a set of flashcards for those who want to learn Italian, but don’t want to pay for that education. Knowing things like which door went to the men’s room will come in handy. But that’s not what you will learn here.

One choice would have been to pay someone hundreds of dollars for a proven technique. Another option was a free smartphone app. Now we give you the opportunity to learn the way we did. In a useless manner. Learn key phrases such as:

  • The grill arrives in June. Perhaps grilling meats and fish is something folks in Italy are passionate about. They may want to know what kind of grill I have and what side of the charcoal vs gas side I am on. Not having a grill, I’d have to lie, and tell them that the grill is arriving in June.
  • How much cake do you eat? Then there might be a day where I find myself in a dessert hall. I am in line and quite hungry. In front of me is a large slice or three of carrot cake. I love carrot cake. Behind me in line is a young man who may also be eyeing that same carrot cake. One approach would to be a typical American and order all the slices for myself. The more neighborly approach would to be to find out how much cake he eats, and leave him some.
  • I speak while I eat. I’m on vacation, and time is off the essence. Our agenda is pretty full, and in order to check off all the boxes, one has to multi-task. This is how I’d explain it to the family we are sharing a table with on why they see what I am chewing. They would not care and would continue to stare in disgust. This would be a teaching moment for their children on how not to act.
  • They are among us. After detailing how aliens have integrated themselves into our society, people wonder where they are. They are in disguise and they are among us. Unfortunately, they’d only understand the second half of that sentence as I did not learn the first half.
  • What’s in your pocket? This is a super handy phrase should you find yourself in a game of Lord of the Rings charades. Which is crazy popular there. So I have read on an AOL message board.
  • Where do you keep the bread? I don’t think this one needs explaining. Often times, however, they won’t tell you. They’ll just bring out another few slices. Why are they hiding the location of the bread?
  • Which whale? Picking the wrong whale can have dire consequences. This is one of my top three phrases to learn if visiting a coastal city.
  • Why do I die? One answer, people will tell you, is picking the wrong whale. But this philosophical conundrum is also a good question to have in your back pocket if you are at someone’s house and dinner conversation has gotten light. The answers you get will be plentiful and self-reflective. Fell free to work out those new thoughts right there at the table while chewing your food.
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